Balding Survivor Gifts

Budget Toupees.

"Tommy!"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Be creative...!"

Building a Shelter

Male Pattern Baldness

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'We're in a hurry.'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

Flying carpet

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Whale Pattern Balding

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

"I'm hoping that someday I might be reunited with my biological hair."

Hair loss comb.

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

Whale Pattern Balding,

"Boy, in the cold light of day it's really freaking cold!"

'Stay warm last night?'

"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."

You know it's a really bad winter when. . .

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

Heating costs.

"You can't join the Federal Witness Protection Program just to eep your friends from seeing your bald spot."

'Don't be silly- it doesn't bother me that you're going prematurely piebald,'

Snowman longing for a thaw.

Male pattern damnation

'Oh my God!! My hair's falling out!!'

'Are those plugs, Carl?'