Balding Survivor Gifts

Budget Toupees.

"Tommy!"

"Be creative...!"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Building a Shelter

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

Male Pattern Baldness

'We're in a hurry.'

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

Flying carpet

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

Whale Pattern Balding

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

"I'm hoping that someday I might be reunited with my biological hair."

Hair loss comb.

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

Whale Pattern Balding,

"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."

You know it's a really bad winter when. . .

'Stay warm last night?'

"Boy, in the cold light of day it's really freaking cold!"

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

"Face it, Herb, you're a bald eagle..."

Heating costs.

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

"You can't join the Federal Witness Protection Program just to eep your friends from seeing your bald spot."

'Don't be silly- it doesn't bother me that you're going prematurely piebald,'

Male pattern damnation

Snowman longing for a thaw.

'Oh my God!! My hair's falling out!!'