Bald Spot Humorist T-Shirts

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Snail Pattern Balding.

The barber

'You've got dry scalp.'

Operation Chrome Dome.

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

Hair club for men.

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"Well, did it work?"

Comb over club.

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

Whale Pattern Balding,

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

"Rodent droppings? Hey! We were wondering where they'd got to!"

Combs for the bald.

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

Custer's Last Strand

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."