Bald Spot Humorist T-Shirts

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'You've got dry scalp.'

Operation Chrome Dome.

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Comb over club.

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

Hair club for men.

"Well, did it work?"

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Combs for the bald.

"Rodent droppings? Hey! We were wondering where they'd got to!"

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

Whale Pattern Balding,

"You're very lucky. An inch lower and this would have been closer to your elbow."

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

Custer's Last Strand

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."