Balance Sheet Balladeer T-Shirts

City & Western.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

"How many verses of 'Froggie Went A-Courting' are there, Jay, before your pill kicks in?"

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

Fitness Course.

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

'That's my dad. He does his best work in the bathroom.'

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

'After a cursory examination, the outside auditor is demanding his money up front.'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

Lion Toupee

Wade 'Gator' Ruben, Tax Attorney

'He celebrates the fiscal New Year.'

'Hello, Smudgekins and Smollet, creative accountants, how may I help you?'

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"

"Not to worry, boss. We only suffered paper losses."

"Have you included the loss of my reputation?"

"I'm full of an unspeakable sadness and it goes a little something like this..."

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

"Yes, I said creativity is good. But not with the balance sheets."

'I know the club is broke, but this is going too far.'

'I always wanted to be an accountant. There's safety in numbers, you know.'

'Tennis'

'Cattle Driver.'

"If the medical treatment doesn't work, I sing them songs about medical treatment."

'Well, if none of you have anything to say we may as well knock off early and go home.'

Accounting: Fiction and Non-Fiction.

'Here's one I wrote to cover the sound of my wife's voice telling me nobody is going to pay to hear my songs.'

"Who approved all this infrastructure spending for casinos?"

'I can't decide whether to pay my rent this month or go to the basketball game.'

Budget surplus in Canada.