Balance Beam Balancers Gifts

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

Work/Personal Life Balance Beam

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

The hour of justice

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Fitness Course.

Waiting staff

'He has a learning disorder.'

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"I told Mr Simmons there's something I wanted to get off my chest - his hands."

'After a cursory examination, the outside auditor is demanding his money up front.'

Missing You#2

'You may be serving Him up there, but don't forget...I'm boss down here.'

'You wash, I'll dry.'

"Yes, I said creativity is good. But not with the balance sheets."

"Wow, Tia Carmen...that's amazing! How do you do it?"

'If stocks are up, bonds are down. If bonds are up, stocks are down. It's life's Yin and Yang.'

'We're a two-income family. In come the bills and in come the taxes!'

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

Bath Juggler

Harmony help wanted: YINS, yangs need not apply.

'It's Artie from Accounting. Apparently he was trying to cover his rear, watch his back, bury his head in the sand and balance the books, when something just SNAPPED!'

'Maybe now we'll find out what's going on around here.'

"In order to help the environment, Edward is only using paper bags now."