Bagel Gunslinger Gifts

Deliboys

Billy. The Kid.

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Countervailing Clichés.

Doughnut Making

"The bagels are better in New York."

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

'Bed & Bagel'

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Bagel problems.

'The wife loves to go dancing Saturday nights.'

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"This town isn't big enough for the two of us."

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

"Ain't nobody gonna end a meeting faster than me."