Bagel Gunslinger Gifts

Deliboys

Billy. The Kid.

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Countervailing Clichés.

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"The bagels are better in New York."

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Doughnut Making

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Bed & Bagel'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

Bagel problems.

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'The wife loves to go dancing Saturday nights.'

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

Everyone agreed big Jake was slow on the draw..But effective.

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"This town isn't big enough for the two of us."