Bad News Navigator Pillows

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Newspaper suicide.

Department of Nanotechnology

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

Nethead strip: Speak binary

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

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"Has our apologist been alerted?"

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

Fire Backwards.

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"No internet connection"

Support Group for the Directionally Challenged.

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

Scarecrow Directions

Information, Clarification, and Correction.

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

"We must be in the wrong wing."

Ban news chair

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"It's tough being a media exec. There's always a threat of good news breaking out."

The Times-News. Study: Newspaper Readership Down. For full story, please visit our web site.