Bad Manners Buff T-Shirts

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

Cheeze Wiz.

The Golfing Accident

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Wedding disaster #27.

"And would you like flies with that?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Beware of God"

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'Ah, business as usual.'