Bacterial Infection Theorist Gifts

Please leave your feet by the door.

Disease Management

The new normal

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

Bacterial Cultural Center

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Louis Pasteur

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

"Look on the dark side."

"What I really hate is preventive medicine. They go after us before we even do anything."

MRSA Guide to hospital.

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

"These grapes are a bit funny."

'How can we get the flu? We are the flu.'

Tough germ.

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

"Have you dined with us before?"

'He spoke in millions. Then I learned he was a bacteriologist.'

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

"The yoghurt, does it contain bifidobacteriumi and lactobacillus bulgaricus?"

"You never see a fish down here. I wonder if they know something we don't know."

"Turns out I'm not the wise old paramecium I thought I was."

"When I say 'tweet' you say 'tweet'...'tweet!'"

Med. school 101 - 'Affordable diseases'. Med. school 302 - 'Unaffordable diseases'.

'You can't get swine flu from your piggy bank!'

"No, it's not funny. But it's in the tradition of funny."

"Your test results are back."

'What are YOU looking at?'

'The test results are in for our new drug. 9 out of 10 doctors recommended the placebo.'

"The Earthling seems to be waiting for us to do something with the gift he has given us."

Desert Island Toothpicks

'Oh-oh -- they're having a big war over which one of us to worship!'

"Where do you see yourself five Covid subvariants from now?"

Grim Reaper helpfully offers a smoker a light.