Bacon Snob Gifts

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Hamlet

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Aromatherapy for Men

"We're trying a new incentive program. Bacon?"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"Wow! - An original Bacon!!"

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Oooh... bacon!"

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Inappropriate garnish.

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"You're really gonna like these biscuits, there's bacon in them."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

'Okay! Okay! I'll talk! I'll talk! Please, just don't eat any more bacon!'

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"