Backyard Philosopher Pillows

"Oh, I see - so it's wrong to cut down the Amazon Rainforest, but okay for me to weed, prune and mow our own garden?"

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

Windfarm - Windbag

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

"Meh. Bones are ok. But just once I'd like to sink my toothless gums into a delicious meatloaf."

I finally found happiness in my own backyard and then I got evicted.

Or insist on giving him unsolicited advice...

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

Grass: We lost some good men today!

It MUST be Valentines Day!

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

30% Heredity, 70% Environment