Backyard Nature Pillows

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

Hello from the shed.

Bird Bath.

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

"How?"

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

"We're out of bags."

Quick, Gardener's World is on!

"Harry, you're beginning to go to seed!"

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Human males marking territory.

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

Living next door to area 51

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

"What … have … you … done?"

Sure, it's nice. It was just this spring I was hoping for a jacuzzi!

Strikeout Dog

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'

You just plant the seed, water it, and when it grows, you eat it --- I call it "agribusiness."

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

"I think Fred is doing more than growing exotic plants!"

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

"Did you get some work done?"

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?