Backyard Football Champion Pillows

A chicken coop goal.

Prize vegetables.

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'The kids take it very seriously - I'm sure it's their father's fault.'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

Beer Garden Kit

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

"A garden is a thing of beauty and a job for ever."

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

Beware of Curmudgeon!

Lobster hot tub.

The King Can Do No Wrong

Window in the Outfield.

A man steals a steak with a fishing rod

'They're not even real, Miss!'

Autumn Leaves

"The long winter has gotten you out of shape, dad. Your back locked up. If it was your computer, I could help you."

This had the potential to get really nasty...

Man to man with horse: 'It's much easier without the horse, Hugo.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, haven't you?"

Lawnmower racing

'Our patio heater won't hurt the environment, it's nuclear powered.'