Backyard Botanist T-Shirts

"Honey, the dog is in the back yard doing naked yoga again."

"I think Fred is doing more than growing exotic plants!"

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"Harry, you're beginning to go to seed!"

Green Fingers.

Watering Weeds.

'A herd of elk found our weed patch...they won't let me near it.''

Quick, Gardener's World is on!

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

"We're out of bags."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

Yardless: Please help

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

'That plant food really works!'

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

Watering Flowers

Conservation bookshelf has a dead plant on top of it.

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'