Backyard Barber T-Shirts

Cut the lawn

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Hair Crop Circle

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"Be creative...!"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"Absolutely not!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Lego Haircut

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

Sheep In Curlers

Military style hedgehog

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"