Back To Work Transition Gifts

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Work Parfait

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

Back to work...

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Caged Businessman

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"Indeed - you're Mr. Gurkenman! After all the 200m meetings I remembered you much smaller!"

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Absent friends!'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

Monday: Next 7 exits.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

Hand sanitizer

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'