Back-to-school Advocate T-Shirts

'Sometimes you gotta take a stand.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Common Core Family Therapy

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Another shot heard round the world.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Gold versus Knowledge

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

Good writing is good thinking

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'Education is very important. Let's go buy three liters of books so we can learn!'