Baby Speedster Admirer Pillows

"He has extremely advanced motor skills."

A midwife holding a baby

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Doughboy Dad

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"They look so young and helpless."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

Uterus: One size fits all.

Bouncing baby

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Maternity Hospital

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Giving Birth