Baby Shower Pillows

Baby Elephant drinks water from it's trunk

Test tube Stork

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

Crying parent holds crying baby.

'My god, he's insane.'

'Engorgement's not easy for either of us.'

Child reading book: Understanding Your Parents' Behavior.

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"I can feel the baby kicking."

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Baby's first words.

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

'How can we prevent preganancy? We don't even know what causes it.'

'So what's new?' 'Everything.'

"Oh, that poor thing."

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man.

Changing the baby.

Maternity Ward

"So! When's the big day?"

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

Self-driving stroller

'Don't worry they normally look like little humas during the early scans.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Break Water'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

You have to do WHAT to get that kid out of there?

"Do you have a babble-to-English dictionary?"

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Maternity ward.

'Usually you know they're growing up when they get their first teeth. Nowdays it's when they start downloading their first apps.'

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

'You saved $.05 for using your own bag.'