Baby Shower Pillows

Baby Elephant drinks water from it's trunk

Test tube Stork

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

Crying parent holds crying baby.

'Engorgement's not easy for either of us.'

'My god, he's insane.'

"I can feel the baby kicking."

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Child reading book: Understanding Your Parents' Behavior.

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Baby's first words.

'How can we prevent preganancy? We don't even know what causes it.'

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"Oh, that poor thing."

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man.

"So! When's the big day?"

Maternity Ward

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

'Don't worry they normally look like little humas during the early scans.'

Changing the baby.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

You have to do WHAT to get that kid out of there?

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Break Water'

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

"Do you have a babble-to-English dictionary?"

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"Doc, she's having contractions!"

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

Maternity ward.

'You saved $.05 for using your own bag.'

'Usually you know they're growing up when they get their first teeth. Nowdays it's when they start downloading their first apps.'

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'