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Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"He looks just like your husband."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

Bouncing baby

'It's a chicken.'

Giving Birth

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Maternity Hospital

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'