Babies And Toddlers Pillows

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A midwife holding a baby

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Swan Fairy Tales

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

The No No No's

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Mother Nature

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'