Awkward Moment Compassionate Gifts

"Oh, no. Here comes that couple we just met whose names I forget because I wasn’t listening to them!"

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

Speed Dating Disasters

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Are you blushing?!"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'