Awkward Interaction Analyst Gifts

"Nice to meet you. And may I just say, I don't feel uncomfortable at all."

What price beauty?

Awkward First Dates

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

"Bob, when I said "let him sniff your hand first," I meant the dog."

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

A man and a woman at a house party

'En-counter'

Send. End.

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

"Polar? Or simply slow to warm."

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'

Men telling stories

"What do you do for a living? I sue people. So you're an attorney? No I just sue people."

"Feel my shirt! Wanna Know what it's made of? Boyfriend material!"

"I'm beginning to think this niche networking isn't getting us anywhere."

"You could add 'Men who say "Ciao!" who are not even Italian or of Italian descent' to that list."

'The 10 Habits of Highly Annoying People'

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

"I said, how much for a hug?"

'Oh to hear those three little words.' -'Scram, you creep.'

'Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?'

"So dude, tell me...what happened? Did you ask Estella out? Did she say 'yes'? Are you guys hooked up?"

Greeting 2020 Style

"It's fine if you don't want to talk about the elephant in the room, but could we at least turn down the constant cool jazz."

'I was just looking at you and wondering what my grandchildren would look like if you and my daughter started dating again, fell in love, got married and had some!'

"What goes around comes around more annoying."