Awkward Crush Navigator Pillows

'Look see? There's viola! Don't look right at her!'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Department of Nanotechnology

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

Scarecrow Directions

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

"Well, I guess if breathing through your mouth has kept you alive this far..."

"Ice rink"

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

The plumber asks out the cable lady.