Awkward Anniversary Moments Gifts

"Next time you give me anniversary flowers go out and buy them!"

Showbiz Awards

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"Are you blushing?!"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Speed Dating Disasters

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

(Cursing symbols)! Did I have a piece of spinach stuck to my tusk the whole date?

"Don't take this the wrong way, but your sweaty hand is grossing me out."

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"I'd like to say something to you, Miriam - strictly off the record, of course."

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

"Cruz, I didn't send flowers to Rayna! We haven't dated in forever! Ever since I joked about calling her Anne Droid."

'Didn't we fly over this hill ten minutes ago?'

"Any other weaknesses?"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'