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"Oscar, we need a good actor to present the accounts at the next tax audit meeting."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

Difference of Opinion

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Healthcare declaration

A young positivist.

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'