Award Show Follower T-Shirts

"...And the award for the best message in a bottle goes to..."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Can't Touch This

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Giving an Oscar to an animal actor would put the academy awards into context.

May I have the envelope, please?

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Oscars acceptance speech.

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"Thank you, everyone: now I'd like to introduce all the folks who made this possible for me!"

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Oscars

The Academy began to regret awarding the Oscar to Destructo.

Djargo.

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."

Oscar Victory

"Nominations for best skinny mad white dude goes to..."

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."