Avoiding Small Talk Pillows

Hi, I'd like one small coffee, and no small talk. What? I'm on to you barristas. Always making small talk, where you say something cool and then when I reply, you look at me as if what I said was lame. I just want to order, pay and leave without having any human interaction that could make me feel inadequate. STOP JUDGING ME! Have you thought of buying yourself a Mr. Coffee?

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

What price beauty?

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'I once met the tweeter for a famous novelist, but never anyone who tweeted for an organic, patented plum.'

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

Let's talk about the weather.

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

Dadonomics

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

Why are you here?

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

"Actually, I don't consider myself to be a have or a have-not. I'm more of a have-to-have."

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

Elevators offer choice of conversation or conversation-free.

"I know absolutely nothing about that subject, but I will give you my opinion."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

Small Talk Lounge

"We're perennials."

"That was there to give idlers reason to not stop and chat."

"You want to know about my day? Mom, didn't we just do this last month?"

Small Talk Outlet

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

A guy trying his best on a date...

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"