Aviation Regulator Gifts

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The Solar System (after deregulation)

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"We won!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Employee of the Month Parking

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

Tempest in a Teapot

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Two airplanes

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

An acceptable level of TV violence.

Pulling The Economy Uphill

How Many It Takes

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'That's our corporate ladder.'