Aviation Employee Pillows

"Finally! A decent trip to pick up..."

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Two airplanes

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

'He's still following us, Don.'

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

'Will that be coach?'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'