Aviation Advocate Gifts

Heathrow Environmental Protestors - 'This airport is filthy.'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

AI Safety Officer

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

People and robots

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Belarus Hijacks Ryanair Plane

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

"Student driver."

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Co-pilot smirks at paper airplane stuck in the hair of the pilot

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

"I don't believe it...are you actually flying somewhere?"

"Goodbye old girl. They'll never issue another bag quite like you."

A hand reaching frantically out a lavatory door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away.

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

'Our efforts to be rude impersonal, overpriced and inconvenient has made us leaders in jet fuel efficiency.'