Avian Reader Pillows

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Audio Books

So you're a mocking bird...

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Bird Torture.

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'I think he's lonely.'

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Large print e-book.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'