Avian Caddies Gifts

'That's business class.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Bird Torture.

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'I think he's lonely.'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'