Autonomous Cars Pillows

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

The first car accident.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"What old school? This is my life."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Inflating Boobs.

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

"So...do you have a job now?"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Otto the SmartyCar!

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"