Automotive Upgrades Pillows

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Bob's Driving School.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

"Perfect."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"It's even more controversial than uber. It's a driverless taxi."

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

'We've found the problem...'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

'I can dream, can't I?'

To scare the pants off of kids who threw snowballs at his car, Ray outfitted it with exploding fake body panels.

"Yeah, I'm working on my own customized car, too."

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Repairing the UFO

"Yeah, I'm just here for winter break. I'm staying with my aunt Maria. She lives down the block."

I can be upgraded, can you?

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."