Automotive Safety Pillows

'Caution! This vehicle makes frequent unexpected stops.'

'Hey, did you know these things have brakes?'

Where airbags should be.

"I've lost the ability to make eye contact"

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

"I see your son has a summer job."

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Marvin and the new airbag

Crash test dummies "The roads are treacherous so I'm going out"

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

GM recall

0 Days Since Last Accident

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Nice park. . .

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

Zero gravity ahead.

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

Big bumpers.

Give Way To Cyclists

'Let me through! I'm an intern!'

"Seat belts unfastened? Excellent."

A 'failed' brake check!

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'