Automotive Repair Prints

Brakes are fine. You need new glasses.

'When I ask what our inventory is 'What ever' is not an acceptable answer.'

"It makes a loud grinding sound whenever I merge onto the highway."

"So tell me... Do these tires make me look flat?"

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

'Do you repair immune systems?'

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'Here he comes now. I told you my mechanic was a good one.'

"What do you mean I left garage too quickly?" - Mechanic still under car

Ed's Auto Repair

"It's a good thing you brought your car in when you did, my daughter needs braces."

'Our computer shows that you have a faulty alternator, a weak battery cell and you're three days late on your auto loan repayment.'

"You need a new radiator. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I blame the system, the cooling system."

'Here's your estimate. Still think it's a funny noise?'

'No-Freaking-Idea-Speak.'

"How much for a good set of earplugs?"

'This is the third time I had to replace the clutch.' - 'Don't blame me, I neve use it .'

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

School for Motor Mechanics "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear."

Let's just say if it was a horse, I'd shoot it.

"Here's your problem."

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

"Your Thunderbird does cough and splutter, but it doesn't have bird flu."

'I'm afraid, Vicar, that you have 'left undone those things which you should have done'!'

I'll have to go back to the garage for my calculator.

"Can you save my car?"

MOT Emissions Test: Pass/Fail.

'I'll have to phone my wife and tell her that we can afford that Caribbean cruise, after all!'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

'Whenever I try to shift gears, it sticks in the fourth quarter.'

Due to rising costs, dumb looks aren't free anymore.

I'm just changing a tyre.

These repairs turn out to be cheaper than buying a whole new car.

'There's not much I can do if you don't know where your car is.'

'-And you,sir-as a typical man in the street...'