Auto Repairs Prints

'Bad news: It's lemon juice!'

OK, let me try to explain it to you this way.

'The only parts that don't need replacing are the 'fluffy dice'.'

"Bad news. That liquid dripping from your new car is lemon juice."

"I don't know about your oil, but the goulash you're cooking in your crankcase looks done."

We found the problem it's your alternator.

Last Chance For Everything.

Man to man about cat: 'You should hear the cars purr after he's done with them.'

Man to mechanic: 'The hubcaps are child-proof.'

'Tow trunk lifting itself..'

Your big end has gone

"We found the reason for that 'whining' noise, someone had left TalkRadio playing."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Take me to your mechanic."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

CLEAR!

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Organic Soldering.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'