Automobile History Pillows

'It used to be a cop car. That would explain the guy in the back wearing handcuffs.'

The first car accident.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"What old school? This is my life."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Bob's Driving School.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

"So...do you have a job now?"

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

Inflating Boobs.