Auto History Pillows

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"What old school? This is my life."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Route 666

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

Smile

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

Nice park. . .

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Tyre speaking to psychiatrist: 'I've been under a lot of pressure.'

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

'Nice smile.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."