Automobile Appreciator T-Shirts

"Joey ripped me off. Last week I showed him this ad for a 1964 Chevy Impala...and he went out and bought it."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"Convertible. Must be nice."

Man helping a mini learner driver

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

"There's no need to scream. The plane may be old but she was built for aerobatics."

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

Internal Combustion.

'Can I hop in, since I was on your team?'

'Wow, I hate to be disturbed when I'm enjoying a good brew, too.'

Puss n' scoot.

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

'I used to think it was such a compliment when he first named it after me.'

"It was just humming right along - then began whistling."

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

Antiques Roadshow or Bust!

"For my money...any care looks good."

A toaster plays fetch

"This is a loveable little motor, loves petrol, loves oil..."

"The moment of peaceful ocean sounds has been brought to you by. . . !"

'We're ready, Tony, start your engine!'

'Orville keeps bragging about restoring that car. He fails to tell people it took him 70 years.'

This tire comes with a one million mile warranty.

Standing ovation $5.

"My gawd, we've been clamped!"

Reaction.

Cash for clunkers

'One thing about old Doc Shemm...he sure supports the animal industries!...

"Oh no! Set decorator and special effects wizard Emilio Ruiz del Rio, who worked on 'Dr. Zhivago,' 'Lawrence of Arabia' and 'Pan's Labyrinth' has died!"

'They don't make cars like this any more -- the country that built them disappeared.'