Automation Humor Fan Prints

'Don't be silly, Ralph...of course you're not being replaced by a computer...you're being replaced by an electric paper shredder.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"You are still here."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

'I think I've got a screw loose.'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Robotic man mowing the lawn

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'...it's a robots staple diet.'

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

"Are we sure this is how we get our workloads into the cloud?"

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

"Frankly, you seem a little fleshy for our team."

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

"And this is our totally computer automated robotic office of Human Resources,"

'It's my prostate.'

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'

'Judging by that old fashioned light bulb, your idea must be outdated.'