Automated System Warrior Pillows

"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Future garbage truck driver.

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Examiners.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"Ted doesn't test well."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

HOMEWORK: It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it!!!

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"How was your day?"

A usual day.

Final Exams Tip

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Tell us something we don't know."

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

'What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?'

Justice for a heckler.

'I know I've interviewed for this position last month, but since then I've hired a personal coach. I was thinking maybe a do-over interview.'

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

'Yes, Frank. I'm sure you can make two hundred words out of just twenty six letters.'

Exams

'Thanks for coming in. Whoever gets the job will call you next week and let you know our decision.'