Automated Response Endurer Pillows

"If you want to know what you cand do with your recorded message, press 1 now..."

Coronavirus Global Alert

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"I only told a few friends."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

Death in the red zone

"Have a nice day"

"I want my job back."

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

Computer driving a fork-lift in a warehouse.

Coronavirus: "Not so fast!"

Doctors

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."

'And press nine if you are loosing the will to live!'

Ursula von der Leyen

"Here we go, one lap left in the Olympic Finals, and we're heading into the final sprint!"

On Stephen Harper's answering machine..Michaelle calls.

'Funny how talking to an automated voice system makes YOU sound like the robot.'

I'm not a rabbit

'For acall centre in Bangalore press 1 - for one in Hyderbad press......'

'That's F-E-M-A!' Rebuilding New Orleans.

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

A doctor with a hypodermic syringe.

Cuba has sent 165 doctors to africa to fight Ebola.

Automation

"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"