Autocrat Gifts

"Sure, you're a dictator, son, but Muriel's boy is an absolute dictator."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

In basket-case.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Online form - Submit.

They're Not Just That Into It

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Out and In.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'T.M.I.F.'

Storm in the out tray

37 years in the same position.

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"