Auto Shop Clerk Pillows

"Ugh...it's Mr. Martinez. He's always picking fights with all the clerks."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"So...do you have a job now?"

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

A Lady Out Shopping.

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"I want a refund on this computer. It's user hostile!"

How much would you take off for cash?

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'The old one fell apart.'

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"This plan gives you unlimited talk, hex and data."

'No thanks, just looking.'

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

Mannequin protest

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'Brilliant idea, Simkins, the old price was actually higher than the present one!'

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

"This vinegar's got lumps in it."

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"