Auto Enthusiast Humor Gifts

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

CLEAR!

World's cheapest car

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

No U-turns

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

"The first adult decision he's had to make is choosing between driving and texting.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

"Yup, brakes are shot. Lemme check to see if I have any size ten in stock."

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

Electric Car Giving Driver Static.

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

"Your '94 Nissan wants you to know she's fine."

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'

New Big Three bailout cars?

"Have you considered insurance, rego, third party, tolls, resale..."

"Could be just a coincidence, but that whining noise seems to stop when your husband gets out of the car."

'Automobilia Now: Lemon and Lemonaid.