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"It's crazy how good literature can change your life."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Driverless cars rage.

Coexist. Coexhaust.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

It's great for pulling the birds!

Route 666

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Inflating Boobs.

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

Smile

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

Man helping a mini learner driver

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

Jeremy Clarkson.

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

I love my motor.