Aussie Humorist Pillows

Ostrich has head in sand to watch TV set

Bruce tries-out the new Australian remote control!

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"The Eggsorcist"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Hats and Food

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."