Audit Aficionados T-Shirts

I.R.S. in god we trust - all others we audit

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

IRS Audit Section

The IRS emptied my pouch.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"Romance"

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

Destitute businessman: 'Played by the rules.'

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

When accountants carry out dawn raids.