Audio Sleuth Pillows

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

Mysteries.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

"My libido?...What the hell does this even mean?"

music store

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

Unsound

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

Conflicting Reports

"We don't sell CDs anymore. We sell colorful jackets for the music you download illegally."

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

You're being watched.

"It was just humming right along - then began whistling."

"We didn't realize the CCTV footage was doctored until our precinct fanboy found a continuity mistake."

Reporter at a crime scene.

Reporter #2: plant.

Idenity Parade.

News of the Underworld

It's my turn to put you under electronic surveillance. Cops-n-Robbers-n-Identity Thieves-n-Corporate Investigators.

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'Sir, we need your passport, driver's license, and Facebook name!'

Is he urging us to victory or telling us to "take five"? Rome.

'... Hunt? Runt? Grunt? Bunt? ... Bunt! He's telling the batter to bunt!'

Shoot Your Mouth Off.

Wow! He can hear a song just once and then play it? Yeah, he has a phonographic memory!

'You cheat on me and I'll find out on that wikithing!'

You can't hear it mate,baby's asleep!

'I said 'would you like to join the noise abatement society'?'